Is Your Leadership Pipeline a Myth? How to Fix It

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High-Potential Employees Don’t Become Great Leaders All on Their Own

Many organizations believe they have a leadership pipeline. They don’t. What they actually have is a group of highly skilled people with no clear path to leadership readiness. These future executives aren’t being coached, challenged, or given real authority. And then we’re shocked when, three years later, they jump ship for a company that will actually develop them.

Provocative Point: A “leadership pipeline” that consists of hope and good intentions isn’t a pipeline—it’s wishful thinking. If you don’t have a structured system for preparing leaders, you’re just waiting for talent to either sink or leave.

Solution: Create a proactive leadership development track that gives high-potential employees early exposure to complex decision-making, strategic thinking, and executive-level mentorship. Make 2025 the year you stop assumingtalent will grow into leadership and start actively shaping the next generation of executives.

From Plateau to Peak: How to Elevate Talent Through Coaching

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Great Leaders Aren’t Born, They’re Coached

Leadership performance gaps are costly, affecting everything from team morale to organizational outcomes. Effective coaching can bridge these gaps, creating leaders who are not only skilled but also attuned to the nuances of impactful management. Achieving lasting improvement, however, goes beyond simple check-ins or basic feedback. High-quality coaching requires a strategic approach that deeply engages leaders in their growth journey.

Start with a Comprehensive Skills and Needs Assessment

An accurate assessment is the foundation for successful coaching. It goes beyond typical feedback, requiring tools that can pinpoint specific areas for growth, from strategic thinking to interpersonal skills. By using methods like 360-degree feedback, leaders gain insights that reveal blind spots they may not otherwise recognize, while also uncovering strengths they can leverage more fully.

Why it matters: For a skills assessment to be effective, it must be carefully tailored, incorporating insights from diverse perspectives. This approach yields a comprehensive picture of each leader’s performance, allowing for a targeted focus on high-impact areas. When conducted thoroughly, these assessments form a clear roadmap for where to begin the coaching journey.

Set Clear, Measurable Goals for Coaching

The value of coaching is magnified when goals are aligned with organizational priorities and structured to be measurable. Short-term goals create momentum, while long-term objectives ensure ongoing development. Both types of goals are crucial for translating a leader’s growth into tangible results within the organization.

Why it matters: Establishing detailed metrics, like behavior-based KPIs, can transform coaching from a conversation into a results-driven initiative. Metrics serve as guideposts, helping leaders focus their efforts on specific behaviors that directly influence their team and business outcomes. Setting these types of goals requires not only an understanding of performance but also a keen awareness of each leader’s unique strengths and challenges, enabling a structured path forward.

Regularly Evaluate Progress and Adapt the Coaching Plan

Leadership coaching is a dynamic process that benefits from regular evaluations. These check-ins provide insight into how well leaders are progressing and allow for real-time adjustments to the coaching plan. By incorporating periodic feedback from the leader’s team, organizations can uncover new insights into how the leader’s development impacts their team.

Why it matters: Data-driven tools, such as behavioral analytics, offer a way to objectively track performance. These tools can reveal growth in areas that are typically hard to measure, like decision-making speed and conflict resolution skills. This continuous feedback loop enables leaders to adapt, maintaining a steady focus on growth even as they tackle the day-to-day challenges of leadership.

The bottom line: Closing the leadership performance gap is part of a strategic talent development process that requires a structured, intentional approach. By starting with a robust assessment, setting concrete goals, and regularly evaluating progress, organizations can elevate their leadership teams to new levels of effectiveness. With the right coaching foundation, leaders don’t just bridge performance gaps—they build the skills that position their teams and organizations for long-term success.

Handling Performance Reviews Like a Leader

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So Your Performance Reviews Drive Connection and Growth

Performance reviews are an opportunity to build genuine connection, inspire growth, and align your team’s goals with the organization’s vision. When done well, reviews aren’t just a scorecard—they’re an essential leadership tool for fostering relationships, setting performance standards, and fueling each team member’s potential. Here’s how leaders can approach performance reviews with authenticity, depth, and a focus on continuous growth.

Make It a Conversation, Not a Monologue

A performance review should feel collaborative, not one-sided. By fostering an open dialogue, leaders can create a space where employees feel comfortable sharing their perspective on their achievements, challenges, and goals. When leaders actively listen and engage, they demonstrate respect for their team’s insights, building a sense of connection that enhances trust and performance.

Example: Start by asking open-ended questions, such as, “What accomplishments this year are you proudest of?” or “Where would you like more support?” These questions help frame the review as a mutual discussion, paving the way for meaningful insights that can guide growth.

Focus on Specific Behaviors and Achievements

General feedback like “be more proactive” often leaves employees unclear on how to improve. Instead, offer concrete examples that spotlight both strengths and areas for growth. Specificity builds credibility and helps employees understand exactly what they’re doing well and where they can improve. When employees see that their contributions are noticed, they feel motivated to sustain and elevate their performance.

Example: Instead of saying, “You did well on projects,” say, “Your detailed planning on the Q3 initiative significantly improved our team’s efficiency.” Pointing out how their actions contributed to team success reinforces the value of their contributions and keeps their growth on track.

Set Growth-Oriented Goals Together

Performance reviews are not just about evaluating past performance; they’re a platform for setting future goals. Collaboratively setting growth-oriented goals gives employees a sense of ownership over their progress and keeps them motivated to advance their skills. This approach aligns each person’s development with the team’s and organization’s long-term goals, creating a unified path toward growth and success.

Example: Co-create goals that stretch the employee’s skills, such as, “Over the next quarter, lead a cross-functional project to build team collaboration skills.” Collaborating on goals ensures they’re aligned with both organizational objectives and the employee’s personal aspirations.

Key Takeaway: Prioritize Connection as the Foundation of Effective Feedback

Performance reviews should be more than transactional check-ins; they’re powerful moments to reinforce connection. By making these conversations a priority, leaders can use performance reviews to drive individual growth and elevate team performance. The more genuine the connection, the more likely employees are to embrace feedback, act on it, and commit to shared goals. This shift from “review” to “connection” transforms performance reviews into catalysts for growth and team cohesion.

Developing Your Next Generation of Leaders

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5 questions every executive team should be asking themselves

Look around your leadership team. Are you seeing the future? If not, it might be time for a little refresh. Here’s the uncomfortable truth: the leaders of tomorrow may not look like the leaders of today. And, no, we’re not just talking about diversity (although that’s an important piece). We’re talking about mindset, adaptability, and that elusive quality: resilience.

1. Identify Your Rising Stars (Before They Burn Out)
You know those high-potential folks in your org who are constantly “doing a little bit extra”? Yeah, the ones who might combust if they don’t take a vacation? They’re your next-gen leaders. But before you start piling on more responsibilities, give them the development opportunities they need to succeed without burning out. Leadership is about more than hard work; it’s about working smart, too.

Question: How do we currently identify high-potential employees, and are we doing enough to ensure their development without overwhelming them?

  • Encourage your management team to conduct regular talent assessments focusing on both performance and potential.
  • Ask managers to track burnout risks by monitoring workload and offering tailored support before it’s too late.
  • Implement succession planning that allows future leaders to shadow more senior roles without adding excessive pressure.

2. Give Them Real Challenges (Not Just Busy Work)
Handing future leaders token assignments is like giving a firefighter a garden hose. It’s cute, but it’s not going to solve anything. If you want them to grow, give them meaty, real-world challenges that test their problem-solving abilities and leadership potential. Sink-or-swim might sound harsh, but in a world of constant disruption, they need to be ready for the deep end.

Question: What significant, high-stakes projects can we hand over to emerging leaders that will stretch their abilities and prepare them for greater responsibility?

  • Assign future leaders critical projects with real impact, allowing them to grow through hands-on experience.
  • Set up mentorship programs where senior leaders guide next-gen leaders through complex problems.
  • Use failure as a learning opportunity by openly discussing the lessons from missteps instead of punishing them.

3. Coaching, Not Micromanaging
Nobody became a great leader by being spoon-fed. Leaders grow through challenge, reflection, and yes, failure. What they don’t grow from is a boss breathing down their necks about every decision. Shift your focus to coaching rather than micromanaging. Help them learn how to think strategically, navigate tricky waters, and make decisions that align with long-term goals.

Question: How can we shift from micromanaging tasks to fostering strategic thinking and decision-making in our up-and-coming leaders?

  • Promote a culture where managers ask powerful questions rather than providing all the answers, helping future leaders think critically.
  • Encourage regular one-on-one coaching sessions focused on growth, feedback, and leadership challenges rather than daily operations.
  • Introduce self-reflection exercises for future leaders to assess their decisions and outcomes, reinforcing autonomy and learning.

4. Encourage Cross-Functional Exposure

If you want a well-rounded leader, you need to throw them into situations where they’re not the expert. Let them sink their teeth into projects outside their usual domain—because real leadership isn’t just about knowing your lane; it’s about driving the whole highway. Cross-functional exposure builds broader strategic thinking and breaks down organizational silos.

Question: How can we create opportunities for our future leaders to work across different departments and gain a broader understanding of the business?

  • Rotate rising stars through key departments so they gain a 360-degree view of the organization’s operations and culture.
  • Assign future leaders to cross-functional task forces or project teams that require them to collaborate beyond their usual scope.
  • Encourage participation in cross-functional strategy discussions, giving them a seat at the table where broader business issues are tackled.

5. Provide Continuous Learning Opportunities

Your future leaders should never stop learning. Invest in their development through ongoing training that goes beyond the basics. Leadership isn’t static, and neither should be their education. Whether it’s executive coaching, leadership programs, or industry conferences, giving them the tools to learn and adapt is non-negotiable.

Question: Are we investing enough in our leaders’ learning and development to keep them at the forefront of emerging industry trends and leadership practices?

  • Create personalized learning plans for future leaders that combine formal training, mentorship, and real-world experience.
  • Offer leadership development programs focused on emerging skills like emotional intelligence, digital transformation, and adaptive leadership.
  • Provide access to external conferences, courses, and networks that broaden their knowledge base and expand their industry insights.

 

These thought-provoking questions can push your management team to take concrete steps toward developing the next generation of leaders, while ensuring rising stars are exposed to broader experiences and continuous learning—critical for their long-term growth and organizational success.

The future isn’t going to wait for your leadership team to catch up. Start building the pipeline today—because that bright-eyed manager you’re half-ignoring? They could be the very one most capable of steering your company through a big transformation before you know it.

5 Leadership Conversations That Drive Organizational Growth

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If We’re Not Talking About These, What Are We Even Doing?

We all know that leadership isn’t about showing up, issuing a few directives, and hoping for the best. Real leadership? It’s a conversation—one that never ends, especially if you’re serious about growth. But not just any chat will do. We’re talking about powerful, sometimes uncomfortable conversations that push your team and your organization forward. Are you ready for them?

Conversation #1: “Here’s What’s Not Working—Let’s Fix It”
Too many leaders dance around the obvious issues. Growth doesn’t happen when everyone’s patting each other on the back. It happens when you call out what’s broken and actively work to fix it. Whether it’s processes, attitudes, or outdated systems, this conversation might sting a little, but trust us, it’s worth the pain.

Conversation #2: “What’s Our Next Big Move?”
Sitting still isn’t an option. Great leaders are always planning the next step—even if the last one hasn’t finished landing yet. Don’t be afraid to challenge your team with big, bold questions. “What’s next?” keeps everyone sharp and keeps your business ahead of the curve. Plus, it’s more exciting than “Let’s just stay the course,” right?

Conversation #3: “How Can I Help You Grow?”
Shocking news: leadership is about your team, not just you. If you’re not regularly asking how you can support your people in their personal and professional growth, you’re missing the mark. No one wants to feel stagnant, and when your team members grow, so does the organization. Simple math.

Conversation #4: “Let’s Talk About Failure”
Guess what? Everyone’s going to fail at some point. Pretending it won’t happen isn’t leadership—it’s delusion. Real leaders talk about failure before it happens, so when it does, it’s a learning moment, not a catastrophe. This conversation builds resilience, encourages risk-taking, and prevents your team from fearing every mistake.

Conversation #5: “Are We Still Aligned?”
Organizations are like marriages—they need constant check-ins. If your leadership team isn’t aligned on the vision, strategy, and values, you’re going to hit some serious turbulence. Make this conversation a regular part of your leadership cadence to ensure everyone’s on the same page, rowing in the same direction, and ready to adapt as needed.

 

Leadership is a dialogue, not a monologue. If you’re not having these conversations, it’s time to get talking. Your organization’s growth depends on it—and frankly, so does your own development as a leader.

 

4 Must-Do Items on Every Leader’s January Checklist

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We’re starting another year. Like any other, it will be filled with opportunities and challenges, achievements and disappointments, zigs and zags. During these first couple weeks of the year, position yourself and your team for success in the months to come. Here are 4 actions that will help you start the year personally centered, organizationally aligned, and ready to go.
How can you and your team get off on the right foot in 2023?
Reconnect to your North Star.  What is your big “why?” Why do you do the work you do? How is it helping you live your values? How does your work advance your personal and career goals? Your business goals? What needs to change to move you further along this year?
  • There are hundreds of tools online to help you do this.  Here’s one.

 

  • If you’re already sure of your North Star, here’s a quick tool for moving you forward: with your north star in mind, create a “Start-Stop-Continue/ Improve” list. Focus on specific behaviors like “start spending 5 minutes preparing for every meeting/discussion by writing down how it aligns with my purpose and my goals and the top three things I want to accomplish.” Or “stop complaining in front of my team and focus on solutions.”

 

  • No matter what you do, write your thoughts down and put an alert in your calendar to check in with them on at least a quarterly basis. As this year ramps up we will be distracted by fire drills, urgent requests, and changes in plans. Aligning to your North Star will allow you to focus more fully on adding value and saying no to non-value-add activities.
Clarify goals.  For many of you, December and January are about setting annual goals for yourself and your team. Make sure you and your team are clearly aligned. Engage your team members in individual conversations about how frequently they want to check in on goal progression and the best way you can support them. Also, decide how you will reprioritize when inevitable change comes along. Even if you did this as recently as December, a quick check-in is important. People lose focus over the holidays, things change quickly and clarifying expectations at the beginning of the year leads to better alignment and happier team members.
Assess your personal routines.  Research shows that having routines can allow us to be more creative.  By creating routines around repetitive leadership tasks, we are able to direct our free cognitive resources to learning and creativity.  What are your current routines? What else could you routinize? For example, set up ‘do not disturb’ on your messaging while you’re doing concentrated work.  That way, responding to messages becomes routinized, and you’re able to respond at a time when you can focus more fully on the messages. Another way to improve your leadership is to consider your daily habits… what do you do almost without thinking or planning? What should you start/stop/continue?  Here’s a great list shared by 21 executives.
Do a mental health check.  How are you feeling as you start the year? Take an honest look at your emotional and mental health. Many of us are energized and ready to go. Many others are still feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, and daunted by what lies ahead of us. Commit time each day to taking care of yourself. Go for a walk. Connect with friends. Read. Do something that feeds your energy. Your company likely has confidential resources that you can access to help you understand and improve your health.
Being intentional around these four areas, you’ll position yourself for a great start to 2023.
What else do you do to start your new year with intention?

Who’s Going Back to the Office? Who *Should* Be Going Back?

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It’s usually not a simple choice – for companies or for individuals. Companies are making very different decisions. If you’re unsure who should go back to the office, how many days per week, and to do what type of work… here’s a bit of help.

Companies are making very different decisions.

Many people are thinking about being back in the office and what post-pandemic work life looks like. They’re asking questions like “why do I need to be in the office? When do I need to be back in the office? Why aren’t we all back in the office?”

The answers seem as varied as the people asking them. We are hearing weekly what different companies are doing, and the decisions are far from consistent.

  • The largest 4-day work week pilot to date is underway in the UK. For six months, 3,300 people, in 70 companies, across a wide variety of industries are testing the feasibility of a 4-day work week. During the program, workers receive 100% of their pay for working only 80% of their usual week, in exchange for promising to maintain 100% of their productivity. Joe O’Connor, CEO of 4 Day Week Global says “More and more companies are recognizing that the new frontier for competition is quality of life, and that reduced-hour, productivity-focused working is the vehicle to give them that competitive edge,”
  • Elon Musk made news because of a leaked internal memo to Tesla workersin which he says “Anyone who wishes to do remote work must be in the office for a minimum (and I mean *minimum*) of 40 hours per week or depart Tesla… not a remote branch office unrelated to the job duties.’ His reasoning seems to be that by not being in the office at least 40-hours per week, you are “phoning it in.”
  • Akamai went in the opposite direction. Full disclosure – I’ve had the privilege of working with them several times. They announced that as of May 2022, 95% of their nearly 10,000 employees around the world have complete flexibility to decide whether they work at home, in the office, or both. In making this decision, they analyzed all roles in the company against the same criteria, regardless of location, and determined 95% could be done with complete flexibility. Flexibility has been part of their culture for years but never to this extent. The analysis bolstered their belief that employees should decide what is best for them.
So, who’s doing what?  A Robin survey of more than 10,000 offices globally found that:
  • Nearly 20 percent of American office workers are back one day a week
  • About 10 percent are back two days a week
  • Just five percent are back three days a week
  • Even fewer are back four or five days a week
  • More than 50 percent do not use the office consistently every week.

The idea of everyone needing to be in the office or at the same site goes back to the industrial and pre-digital work environment. Materials were most efficiently used in a single location. Communication happened face-to-face or by phone. In my early consulting career, I worked for a firm where a large percentage of the consultants coded all day – onsite, in person. The technology was different then so there really wasn’t another option. However, these people spent 90% of their time in their cubes, working individually. With today’s digital environments, you could easily see that being in-person would probably be of little impact on their work.

Recent research finds that working collaboratively face-to-face (F2F) has an impact on creativity. A study of nearly 1,500 engineers in five different countries were randomly paired to create product ideas F2F or via video call. The study showed video conferencing had a negative impact on idea generation but did not make a difference in the ability to critically evaluate creative ideas. Since creativity begins with new or adaptive ideas, face-to-face could be critical to your innovation and problem-solving strategies.

What’s the right model for how we work? Different companies will have different needs, jobs will have different needs, people will have different needs. And, that’s a new way of thinking.  Many roles are much more nuanced than the coder example I shared above, so the choice is not that simple. It will take months, probably years before we understand the benefits and drawbacks of any model. At the end of the day, the answer will probably be, it depends.

“It depends” is not a great response for people seeking answers.  So, here’s a little help figuring things out. If you and your team are still deciding how to manage the Great Transition, you may want to start with looking at the nature of the work. Even if your organization is committed to a consistent hybrid model (i.e., everyone in the office 2 days per week), it may help you determine how to use those in-office days vs remote days.

You can start with a simple 2×3 matrix that allows you to map tasks to three task categories – creative, analytical, or transactional/process — and the degree of interactivity associated with the task – is it primarily individual or collaborative, and the amount of your time you spend on each task.

For example, if I am analyzing the data in a spreadsheet, it is primarily an individual task. If I am one of several people brainstorming a new solution, working collaboratively on this analysis will generate better results. Analyzing different solutions may work as well remotely as FTF depending on the nature of what’s being analyzed.  Also, creative and analytical processes can be co-dependent and concurrent, so working collaboratively, FTF on this analysis might generate better results. Think of this as a continuum between Creative and Transactional.

Here’s an example, below:

We’re working with leaders, teams and organizations right now helping them be successful in the new world of work through customizable programs and consulting engagements.  How can we help you?

5 Minutes. 5 Days. (Re)gaining Joy at Work

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Joy and happiness are two different things. Both impact things like creativity, individual productivity, and the company’s bottom line (yes, it’s true). But joy is more sustainable.  Here’s a 5-minute per day, one-week plan for kickstarting your path to getting more joy out of work.

Are you missing joy at work?  Or maybe, you’ve never even put the two words joy and work together in the same sentence.  May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Joy is important to mental health. Finding it at work is very challenging for many of us. However, finding it may be more important than ever.

Isn’t joy just another word for happiness?  Not really. According to Merriam Webster dictionary joy is the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune. Joy comes from being connected to our uniqueness, authenticity, to others and to something meaningful. Joy is something we create and more intrinsic. Happiness is sparked by an external event or situation. Research shows both joy and happiness impact our creativity, energy, productivity, health, ability to handle stress, and the company’s bottom line. Joy is more sustainable.

Interested in (re)gaining joy at work? After all, we do spend most of our days working. Creating joy needs to be an active pursuit made up of small steps we take every day. I challenge you to take the 5-minute, 5-day challenge to (re)gain joy at work. It works best when you implement it over 5 consecutive days and jot your answers down somewhere so you can look back on them.

Day One: 5 minutes:  Reconnect to your North Star.  What is your big why?  Why do you do the work you do? How is it helping you live your values? How does your work connect with other important things in your life? What about it is driving you right now?

Day Two: 5 minutes:  What is one thing you can influence or change at work that will allow you to align with your North Star more completely – even if it’s a small thing. What is one task you could do? Or stop doing? What is one opportunity you could take to give yourself a few minutes to focus on something more meaningful? Or to laugh? Or to take a deep breath?

Day Three: 5 minutes: What colleague could you help?  Maybe you’re thinking you don’t have time to help a colleague because you have so much on your plate.  What if you grabbed them a cup of coffee when you go to grab one yourself? Could you have a walk and talk to help them think through a challenge while you both go to pick up lunch (that you may be eating at your desk so you can keep working!)

Day Four: 5 minutes: What are your strengths?  What energizes you?  What is one way, in the next week, you could more fully use that strength? How could you craft your job so that you are able to do this more consistently and frequently?

Day Five: 5 minutes.  Reflect and reward yourself.  What accomplishment are you proud of this week? How did you live your big why? What one thing did you influence or change? Who did you lend a hand to? How did you use your strengths more fully? Do you feel more joy today than you did 5 days ago?

Integrate this challenge into your daily routine every week. Assess the impact at the end of 3-weeks and 3 months. Let me know what happens.

Worried About Accountability During the “Great Resignation?”

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Record numbers of people are leaving their jobs and it’s putting a strain on businesses and their leaders. When you’re concerned about holding onto your best talent (who are usually the first to leave because they have the best options), it may seem like the wrong time to really hold people accountable. To be honest, we have become a little fearful. For many, the thinking is, “if I push my people too much right now, they’ll be even more likely to go.” Losing more good people is a legitimate concern. But here’s how accountability can actually work in your favor and increase your ability to retain and engage your best talent.

Three things you can do now to make accountability work:

  • Align performance with client needs.  It’s a lot easier to talk with someone about their performance if you explain how it matters to clients, including internal clients. “Lisa, let’s talk about ABC Pros. They’re one of our most important clients, so we need to bump up our performance for them. What do you think are the top three ways we can do that?” Add your views and expectations to the discussion. Making clients the focus of the conversation reduces the likelihood that they’ll take it personally. It’s not about what you want, it’s about what the client expects. The same is true about aligning expectations with business strategy. It reminds the individual how they make an important contribution. Connecting to their personal goals can make it even more powerful.
  • Map accountability to your team members’ professional development goals.  This is one of those areas where the art of conversation matters a great deal. Accountability can – and should – be framed up as an exercise in helping your employee meet both their business and development goals. “Mike, we talked last month about your interest in learning how to do more complex data analysis. Let’s look at what you’ve done on this project to see what you’re doing well, and where you can make adjustments that would aid in your development.” This can lead to a constructive discussion about the project goals and parameters you discussed with him earlier.
  • Make accountability a two-way street.  Good leaders know that trust and a sense of fairness are critical to developing a productive working relationship with others, regardless of their role. One of the most effective ways to do that is for you to be accountable to your team members as well. This could mean making time to meet with them on a regular basis, helping them overcome resource issues or other organizational barriers, or following up on your development commitments. When you’re trying to establish their accountability include what commitments you are making to support them. “Alisha, what can I do to make this easier for you to accomplish?” Or “What have I done that’s helped you on this project?  What’s not been helpful? What else can I do?”
All three of these elements of accountability were important before the great resignation. The stakes are higher now, so doing these things well will pay even greater dividends.

What’s Going On With You? A Little Introspection Can Improve Personal Performance

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Recently, I’ve been talking with leaders, including mid-level leaders, about the challenges they are facing with staff shortages, continued ambiguity from COVID, and end of year pressures. In these conversations, the underlying theme is the toll these issues are taking on their emotions and their continual effort to push those emotions away or to simply plow through them.

The context for these conversations is a broader discussion about leading with emotional agility. Susan David and Christina Congleton, in their Harvard Business Review article, define emotional agility as the ability to manage one’s thoughts and feelings in a mindful, productive way. When most of us get hooked by our negative thoughts, especially at work, we have one of two reactions. We buy into them (“I always do something stupid that gets in the way of my success.”) and avoid the situations that may evoke them. Or, we rationalize them away (“I shouldn’t have these thoughts. Just get on with it.”)

When we get hooked and choose one of these two common reactions, we are not giving ourselves the opportunity to respond effectively and intentionally. To choose to respond rather than react, the first step you must take is to recognize what is going on with you.

When I talk with these leaders, I ask them how many times a day they check in with themselves to assess what they are feeling. The overwhelming response is never. Some will say rarely. A very small fraction will say regularly. Then we do the following exercise:

First, we pause the conversation right there and I give them 30 seconds to just stop and check in with themselves.

Before the pause, I encourage them to work hard to accurately name what they are feeling. Don’t just tell themselves they are feeling stressed. Rather become more granular in the assessment. Are you angry? Frustrated? Overwhelmed? Constrained? To respond, rather than react, the first step is to accurately identify and understand what you are feeling. You can’t create an effective response or strategy if you are unable to clearly define what you are responding to.

At the end of 30 seconds, I ask them about their experience. They often say it makes them feel more centered, have more clarity, and are better able to manage those emotions than have the emotions manage them. It provides them the space to choose a response.

We then discuss how pausing 1-2 times a day – taking 1 minute out of an 8, 10 or 12 hour workday– can significantly impact the ability to become more emotionally agile and the impact of that agility on their ability to lead in challenging times.

Over the next few weeks, take a moment or two throughout the day to check in with yourself. What are you feeling? How are you reacting to those emotions? What opportunities do you have to pause to make the choice of how you will respond?

These are stressful times. You’ll find that this technique also works quite well at home.