Naming the Fear

/in , , , , , , , /by

Four Tips for Having the Conversations Everyone Else Is Avoiding

Here’s what no one wants to say out loud right now: people are scared.

They’re worried about layoffs, about funding drying up, about whether the work they’re doing even makes sense in this environment. And the longer we avoid those conversations, the more fear festers.

The good news? You can break the ice and talk about it.  These conversations don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be real.

Don’t Let Silence Create Its Own Story

When leaders say nothing, people make up their own narratives—and they’re rarely hopeful ones. Opening the door for honest dialogue shows your team that fear doesn’t have to be hidden. It can be heard and held.

Use a Grounding Framework

Try this:

  • Acknowledge the context (“There’s a lot of uncertainty right now, and I know many of us are feeling it.”)
  • Share what you know and what you don’t know (including what’s still unknown).
  • Invite questions and concerns without needing to solve them all on the spot. When they can’t be solved right now, ensure people that you are looking for answers. If you know a decision is well off in the future, reassure them when you know more, you’ll communicate what you can immediately.
  • Keep the door open (“Let’s keep this conversation going—we’ll learn our way through this together.”) Note the word ‘learning’.  It reframes the experience.  You aren’t ‘struggling’ or ‘grappling’, you’re on a journey that increases your capacity and certainty going forward.

Listen Without Fixing

Sometimes the most powerful move is simply to listen.  As a leader, that can be very difficult.  You’re wired to fix and act. In this situation, you don’t have to promise outcomes. You just have to stay present. When people feel seen and heard, their anxiety often softens—even if nothing external changes.

Use Fear as a Gateway to Focus

Fear can be reframed. Fear makes things seem bigger and more overwhelming. Once fear is acknowledged, it can help sharpen priorities, clarify values, and re-align effort. Ask: “Given everything, what feels most important right now? What can we control?” Then make an action plan to impact what can be controlled.

Bottom Line:

When you make space for hard conversations, you create a culture where people feel safer, stronger, and more connected. And that’s what builds real resilience—not just strategy decks and cost-cutting plans.

The Unspoken Rules of Communication: What Your Team Isn’t Telling You

/in , , , , /by

If you think your employees always tell you the truth, you’re incredibly lucky.

Every leader likes to believe they have an “open-door policy,” but let’s be honest—most employees don’t buy it. Too many have had the experience (often with previous bosses) that speaking too freely gets them labeled as difficult, uncooperative, or worse. So instead of telling you what’s wrong, they tell you some variation what they think you want to hear. Meanwhile, real problems fester, and by the time they surface, they’ve turned into full-blown crises.

The Hidden Truth: The Fear of Speaking Up is Costing You

Your team isn’t lying to you—they’re just editing. And the more senior you are, the more filtered your information becomes. Employees at all levels often avoid sharing hard truths with their boss because they’ve seen what too often happens when others do: nothing, or something bad.

The Fix: Make Honesty the Default (Not the Exception)

If you want the truth, you have to earn it. That means:

  • Asking sharper questions

    Replace “Is everything okay?” with “What’s one thing slowing you down that no one’s talking about?” The first few times you may be greeted with silence or be told ‘everything’s fine.’  Keep asking. Someone will finally take the chance and tell you their one thing.

  • Proving you can handle bad news

    Employees won’t be honest if they see leaders shoot the messenger. I was leading a team at a financial institution that was redesigning our performance management process based on employee engagement survey results.  We were a cross-level, cross-functional team. The CEO was our sponsor. During a check-in, a team member who worked in a branch, told the CEO a hard truth. We were a little stunned. The CEO was grateful. So grateful that he invited this person to have lunch with him once a month to share her perspectives.

  • Making feedback safer.

    Create spaces where people can share insights without fear of retribution. These can be formal or informal.  Share stories of people who shared insights, what the benefit was, and the actions taken. Those stories demonstrate that feedback is expected and welcome. I once worked for a large consulting firm that did the exact opposite. In an office-wide meeting, a consultant asked if we would have the opportunity to provide feedback into Partners’ and Managers’ performance reviews.  The answer was an unequivocal ‘no’. That story spread across the office like wildfire. It reinforced what we already implicitly knew – feedback was not welcome and it was not okay to question anything that a Partner or Manager did. This led to everything from bad habits to unethical behavior defining the culture.

When leaders make honesty a habit—not just a slogan—they stop being the last to know and start making better, faster decisions.

You’re Overlooking the Most Important Leadership Skill of 2025

/in , , , , , /by

Hint: It’s Not Strategy, Vision, or Execution

If you had to bet on the most valuable leadership skill in 2025, what would you choose? Strategic thinking? Data-driven decision-making? Change management? All solid bets—but you’d still be missing the one skill that’s about to define leadership success more than any other: the ability to have tough, trust-building conversations.

Provocative Point: AI is replacing routine decision-making, and strategy is becoming more automated. But the human ability to connect, challenge, and align people toward a vision? That’s irreplaceable. Yet, most leaders still struggle to communicate clearly, deliver feedback effectively, and have the tough conversations that create real alignment.

Solution: Make 2025 the year your leaders become exceptional communicators. Train them not just in the mechanics of giving feedback, but in how to build trust, listen deeply, and communicate in a way that strengthens relationships while driving results. The organizations that prioritize this skill will develop leaders who don’t just execute well—they inspire teams to follow them into any challenge.

Handling Performance Reviews Like a Leader

/in , , , , , /by

So Your Performance Reviews Drive Connection and Growth

Performance reviews are an opportunity to build genuine connection, inspire growth, and align your team’s goals with the organization’s vision. When done well, reviews aren’t just a scorecard—they’re an essential leadership tool for fostering relationships, setting performance standards, and fueling each team member’s potential. Here’s how leaders can approach performance reviews with authenticity, depth, and a focus on continuous growth.

Make It a Conversation, Not a Monologue

A performance review should feel collaborative, not one-sided. By fostering an open dialogue, leaders can create a space where employees feel comfortable sharing their perspective on their achievements, challenges, and goals. When leaders actively listen and engage, they demonstrate respect for their team’s insights, building a sense of connection that enhances trust and performance.

Example: Start by asking open-ended questions, such as, “What accomplishments this year are you proudest of?” or “Where would you like more support?” These questions help frame the review as a mutual discussion, paving the way for meaningful insights that can guide growth.

Focus on Specific Behaviors and Achievements

General feedback like “be more proactive” often leaves employees unclear on how to improve. Instead, offer concrete examples that spotlight both strengths and areas for growth. Specificity builds credibility and helps employees understand exactly what they’re doing well and where they can improve. When employees see that their contributions are noticed, they feel motivated to sustain and elevate their performance.

Example: Instead of saying, “You did well on projects,” say, “Your detailed planning on the Q3 initiative significantly improved our team’s efficiency.” Pointing out how their actions contributed to team success reinforces the value of their contributions and keeps their growth on track.

Set Growth-Oriented Goals Together

Performance reviews are not just about evaluating past performance; they’re a platform for setting future goals. Collaboratively setting growth-oriented goals gives employees a sense of ownership over their progress and keeps them motivated to advance their skills. This approach aligns each person’s development with the team’s and organization’s long-term goals, creating a unified path toward growth and success.

Example: Co-create goals that stretch the employee’s skills, such as, “Over the next quarter, lead a cross-functional project to build team collaboration skills.” Collaborating on goals ensures they’re aligned with both organizational objectives and the employee’s personal aspirations.

Key Takeaway: Prioritize Connection as the Foundation of Effective Feedback

Performance reviews should be more than transactional check-ins; they’re powerful moments to reinforce connection. By making these conversations a priority, leaders can use performance reviews to drive individual growth and elevate team performance. The more genuine the connection, the more likely employees are to embrace feedback, act on it, and commit to shared goals. This shift from “review” to “connection” transforms performance reviews into catalysts for growth and team cohesion.

The Importance of Transparency in Leadership Communication

/in , , , , /by

Because Secrets Create Silos, and Silos Kill Trust

In the age of information overload, being a secretive leader isn’t just outdated—it’s dangerous. People can smell a lack of transparency from a mile away, and nothing kills trust faster. If you want your leaders to be truly effective, transparency isn’t optional; it’s fundamental. Gone are the days when leaders could get away with cryptic decisions and behind-the-scenes power moves. Now, transparency is the cornerstone of trust, engagement, and high performance. Here are three guidelines to better transparency:

Transparency Builds Trust (And Trust Builds Everything Else)

Here’s the thing: employees don’t follow leaders they don’t trust.They may comply and conform but they do not engage and give their best effort.  And trust doesn’t happen in a vacuum—it’s built through consistent, transparent communication. Whether it’s sharing tough decisions, explaining the “why” behind strategy shifts, or openly discussing challenges, leaders need to be clear and direct. The more transparent leaders are, the more people will trust their decisions, even when they’re tough ones.

Common Non-Transparent Approach: Leaders avoid discussing upcoming changes in staffing until the last minute.

Transparent Version: Leaders openly share that staffing adjustments are being considered early on, even if the specifics aren’t yet decided, explaining the business needs driving the discussions.

Common Non-Transparent Approach: Leaders only communicate results after the fact, without any prior insight into key decisions.

Transparent Version: Leaders communicate about the decision-making process while it’s happening, seeking input from their teams and giving updates as decisions evolve.

No, You Don’t Have to Share Everything

But let’s be real: transparency doesn’t mean you have to turn every meeting into a tell-all. It’s about sharing the right information at the right time. Focus on being clear about decision-making processes, goals, and expectations.  How was the decision made?  Who was involved?  What are we achieving by making this decision?  How does it meet a need?  Why now? If your team understands the rationale behind what’s happening, they’re more likely to support it—even if they don’t agree with every detail.

Common Non-Transparent Approach: Leaders withhold financial performance details from their teams until quarterly results are released, leaving them in the dark about how they’re doing.

Transparent Version: Leaders share monthly performance updates, even if the numbers aren’t perfect, explaining how the team’s efforts are impacting results and what adjustments are being made.

Common Non-Transparent Approach: Leaders delegate tasks without explaining the purpose or reasoning behind them, leaving employees feeling like they’re working in the dark.

Transparent Version: Leaders take time to explain the “why” behind each task or project, helping employees understand how their work ties into broader goals and why it matters.

Transparency is a Two-Way Street

Transparency also means being open to feedback. Leaders need to know what is working and not. Feedback helps them improve their own and their group’s performance. Encourage your leaders to create a culture where employees feel comfortable raising concerns and asking questions. The more open the lines of communication, the better your organization will be at navigating change and staying aligned. Opening the door to feedback often starts with being vulnerable and sharing that something has not gone well. A client of mine recently had to make some difficult decisions for the organization. They seemed to come out of left field and transparency was difficult.  Employee engagement plummeted after this event.  At a company-wide meeting a couple months later, the CEO was very transparent about the impact of the event on employee engagement and asked for feedback on how to help move the organization forward. Afterwards, the feedback started and he listened, beginning the process of improving engagement.

Common Non-Transparent Approach: Leaders shut down feedback by responding defensively or dismissively when employees raise concerns.

Transparent Version: Leaders actively encourage feedback, even if it’s critical, and take the time to listen carefully before responding with thoughtful action or further clarification.

Common Non-Transparent Approach: Leaders hide behind email or formal memos, avoiding direct communication with teams, especially during difficult times.

Transparent Version: Leaders prioritize face-to-face (or virtual face-to-face) communication, especially during challenging situations, offering clarity and being available for open discussion.

Transparency isn’t about oversharing—it’s about building trust by sharing the right information at the right time and being open to dialogue. Leaders who communicate transparently create stronger teams, higher engagement, and more trust throughout the organization. And in today’s world, that’s not just an option—it’s essential.

Giving Constructive Feedback to Leaders

/in , , , , , , /by

How to Shape the Leaders Who Shape Your Organization

Giving feedback to leaders is different from giving feedback to employees. Leaders come with a track record of success, authority, and influence and have likely given plenty of feedback themselves. But receiving it? That can be more difficult. Leaders often feel their success ensures their impact, thinking, and self-awareness are well-developed. However, no leader is perfect. Providing feedback requires balancing their reputation, past successes, and sense of control with what they need to hear. If you’re serious about navigating change and building a thriving organization, even top leaders need feedback to keep growing.

The challenge is that giving feedback to leaders isn’t just about correcting behavior or boosting performance; it’s about steering strategic thinking, fostering leadership growth, and fine-tuning their approach to managing others. Here’s how to make it happen effectively:

Focus on Impact, Not Just Performance

Leaders aren’t just executing tasks—they’re driving strategy, setting the tone, and influencing teams. So, when giving feedback to a leader, the conversation needs to center around their broader impact on the organization. It’s not about nitpicking small errors; it’s about helping them understand the ripple effects of their leadership style on the broader organization’s performance and future.

Example: Instead of saying, “Your team missed the deadline,” you could say, “From where I sit, the way you set priorities last quarter impacted the team’s ability to meet deadlines. It seems that goals and strategy weren’t as aligned as they could be. Let’s explore how we can align your strategic focus with operational goals to avoid this in the future. What’s your take on the situation.?”

Frame it as a Partnership in Growth

Leaders are accustomed to being problem solvers, not problem receivers. So, frame your feedback as a collaborative effort to help them grow, rather than a top-down directive. When you position the conversation as mutual exploration of how to improve, it lowers defenses and sets the stage for real growth.

Example: “I’ve noticed cross-functional communication has been challenging for your team.  Let’s work together to identify how you can improve communication channels and support your team in navigating these barriers. What do you think may be contributing to this situation?”

Challenge Strategic Thinking, Not Just Behavior

When giving feedback to leaders, it’s essential to elevate the conversation beyond daily operations. Leaders influence the long-term direction of the company, and your feedback should push them to think more strategically, whether that’s about how they make decisions, allocate resources, or drive change.

Example: Instead of focusing solely on how a leader managed a specific project, you might say, “I see a pattern where you and the team are reacting to issues instead of anticipating them. For example, … How can we shift your team’s focus to be more proactive in identifying potential challenges?

Acknowledge Achievements, But Don’t Sugarcoat Reality

Leaders are often high performers, which can make delivering tough feedback feel uncomfortable. And, in my experience their perceptions suffer from a bit of a halo effect – the individual’s high performance is seen to bleeds over into other areas. However, high performer are not high performers in everything they do. You’re not doing anyone any favors by sugarcoating. Start by recognizing their successes, but be direct and honest about areas where they need to grow—because, frankly, they know when you’re holding back.

Example: “You’ve done an excellent job rallying the team around key initiatives. I’m going to push you to do even better. I’ve noticed you are making some decisions too quickly without getting sufficient input from your stakeholders. That gets in the way of you being even more successful.  Let’s work on finding a balance between quick decision-making and gathering broader input.”

Encourage Leadership Development and Self-Reflection

Great leaders are lifelong learners, but they don’t always have someone pushing them to keep developing. Your role isn’t just to point out what’s wrong—it’s to help them continue their leadership journey by encouraging self-reflection and providing opportunities for growth.

Example: “You’ve accomplished a lot this year and I want to set you up for success next year. I’d like to challenge you to consider how you can strengthen your team’s leadership pipeline so that so much doesn’t fall on you. How can you mentor your direct reports to ensure that they’re developing into future leaders, too?”

Done right, feedback becomes less about correction and more about collaboration—making you, and them, stronger leaders in the process. After all, shaping great leaders is how you shape a great organization.

5 Leadership Conversations That Drive Organizational Growth

/in , , , , , , , , , , /by

If We’re Not Talking About These, What Are We Even Doing?

We all know that leadership isn’t about showing up, issuing a few directives, and hoping for the best. Real leadership? It’s a conversation—one that never ends, especially if you’re serious about growth. But not just any chat will do. We’re talking about powerful, sometimes uncomfortable conversations that push your team and your organization forward. Are you ready for them?

Conversation #1: “Here’s What’s Not Working—Let’s Fix It”
Too many leaders dance around the obvious issues. Growth doesn’t happen when everyone’s patting each other on the back. It happens when you call out what’s broken and actively work to fix it. Whether it’s processes, attitudes, or outdated systems, this conversation might sting a little, but trust us, it’s worth the pain.

Conversation #2: “What’s Our Next Big Move?”
Sitting still isn’t an option. Great leaders are always planning the next step—even if the last one hasn’t finished landing yet. Don’t be afraid to challenge your team with big, bold questions. “What’s next?” keeps everyone sharp and keeps your business ahead of the curve. Plus, it’s more exciting than “Let’s just stay the course,” right?

Conversation #3: “How Can I Help You Grow?”
Shocking news: leadership is about your team, not just you. If you’re not regularly asking how you can support your people in their personal and professional growth, you’re missing the mark. No one wants to feel stagnant, and when your team members grow, so does the organization. Simple math.

Conversation #4: “Let’s Talk About Failure”
Guess what? Everyone’s going to fail at some point. Pretending it won’t happen isn’t leadership—it’s delusion. Real leaders talk about failure before it happens, so when it does, it’s a learning moment, not a catastrophe. This conversation builds resilience, encourages risk-taking, and prevents your team from fearing every mistake.

Conversation #5: “Are We Still Aligned?”
Organizations are like marriages—they need constant check-ins. If your leadership team isn’t aligned on the vision, strategy, and values, you’re going to hit some serious turbulence. Make this conversation a regular part of your leadership cadence to ensure everyone’s on the same page, rowing in the same direction, and ready to adapt as needed.

 

Leadership is a dialogue, not a monologue. If you’re not having these conversations, it’s time to get talking. Your organization’s growth depends on it—and frankly, so does your own development as a leader.